I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
