Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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