what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
