Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The power of my boobs compel you
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
