i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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