She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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