Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
