her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
