thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
