U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
