Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
