You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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