please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
