I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
i now understand why vodka
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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