she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
