i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm jealous of your bromance
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I supernannyed him into submission
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
