Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
