I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
