His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
