Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
the day after is always just damage control
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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