Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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