i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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