You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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