i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
