you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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