in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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