Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You ate ashes out of my bong
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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