just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
