Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
