I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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