you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
