ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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