ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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