Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
