is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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