"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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