No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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