it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
