How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
