haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
