On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
