he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
