wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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