There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The feeling are messing with the penis
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
