So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
