just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
