I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
