I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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