His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
