Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize