dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
