I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
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